Bacon-wrapped Meatball Onion Bombs!

Hi everyone! Cruising on Pinterest the other day and I came across a recipe I knew I had to subject Chris to, I mean, enchant Chris with my superb cooking skills for dinner. Going through the recipe I realized it needed a little goosing up so here is my version of it!

Quick and dirty:
1) Mix 1lb ground meat, 5 eggs, 4 rolls of crushed crackers in a bowl
2) Add 1Tb dried onions, 1 1tsp dried garlic, salt, & pepper
3) prep onions for filling
4) stuff onion layers with meatball filling
5) cover stuffed onions with bacon strips
6) bake on a pan at 375F for 20-30min.

More elaborate directions:

Prep time: approx 30min to 1 hour, depending on tears ;)
Bake time: 15-20 min @375, 30min or so @400F

Ingredients:

1-1.5 lbs ground meat (I used 80/20 blend hamburger, if it's greasier like a 70/30 blend- add more crackers, and the meat can be any redmeat but has to be ground.)

5 raw eggs (or 5 egg equivalent from carton)

4 rolls of crackers (saltines for more salty flavor, Ritz for buttery flavor)

1Tb Dried onions
1tsp dried garlic
1tsp salt
1tsp pepper

Whole onions (I used 2 large onions, one white and one yellow, if using med sized- go for 4 and for small sized use 6 onions.) For sweeter meatballs, use Vidalia onions.

1-2 package bacon, at room temp or having been thawed out fully.
I used the thick cut, extra long kosher ones.

You'll also need a cutting board, a knife, a baking sheet with edges, and a mixing bowl, and the oven preheated to a suitable baking temp. I recommend 375F to be on the safe side. No one likes burnt meatballs. :(

1. Meat and Eggs

Add ground meat along with 5 eggs into the bowl and mix it together using a sturdy spoon or your fingers.

2. Crackers

Take your rolls of crackers....

And roll them around and generally crunch up the crackers....

And then pour the contents into the mix one container at a time, making sure to evenly disperse the cracker bits.

3. Dried Onions

I poured out a handful which is somewhere around 1Tb or so. The dried onion will be activated by the fat in the meat and along with the crackers will soak up the extra grease present. If using more fatty meat-add more dried onions and crackers (1 roll per every extra 5% fat)

4. Dried Garlic, salt and pepper

Add half the amount you did of onions so: 1tsp dried garlic. Use less if using fresh garlic! Add 2 1tsp salt and 1tsp pepper, basically 2 pinches of salt and then a top surface coating of pepper.

5. Mix it!

The final meatball mix should be firm but moldable like a thick bread dough or chilled cookie dough. If too fluid, add more crackers. If too crumbly add eggs, one at a time. 

6. Attack the onions!

The tops and bottoms need sheared off and the outermost skin peeled off. Do what you have to to survive this: piece of bread, clothespin on the nose, gasmask....whatever. I used the more potent onions, although I'm sure if you use smaller ones the punch isn't as bad to the tear ducts. At the very end, you'll need to cut a vertical line down each ring, the best way to accomplish this is to put the knife point into the center and without hesitation bring it down towards the outer edges. Then get the onion wet and gingerly pop each layer out from the others so that you have a collection of hollow onion balls.

7. Stuff the onions!

Fill each onion ball with meatball mix as shown above.

For added zestiness, pop another ring over the stuffed one making a complete onion ball, as shown. 

As you can see, I went for both plans as a trial. 

8. BACON!!!!!

This part is tricky. Grasping the onion ball firmly, wrap a strip of bacon around its circumference. Then wrap another, and possibly another...and so on until you feel the onion is sufficiently covered. I ran out of bacon so opted for the healthier version of only 1 to 2 strips per onion ball. The recipe I was following called for toothpicks to hold everything in place- but I didn't have any. You could also use cotton sewing thread to tie it all together....but I'm lazy and didn't want to do it. So I opted to settle the onion on top of the bacon edge thus securing everything in place courtesy of gravity. :)

I wanted to be cautious, so I baked these monster onion bombs at 375F for a little over 30min. The bare onion edges got a little blackened but I wanted to make sure the meat was cooked. Served with a salad these softball sized meatballs were simply marvelous. 

P.S. I forgot about the bacon grease which congealed all over the pizza pan so next time I'm going to put down a layer of cracker crumbs to soak it up. I'm sure the dog will love it! And cleanup will be that much easier! Hope you love them as much as we do!!!

P.P.S. I will not be held responsible for any issues resulting from you following this recipe. I post it here for fun and to help spread the love of cooking. 

I'm back! And even better!

Hi everyone! So.....apologies for the long absence. Life, apathy, and a little chaos got in the way of me giving you some girlish entertainment. Here's the scoop on the last 4 years:

I switched jobs in 2014 and started working for an in-situ uranium mine. Yep, I worked around all the yellowcake that most folks get squeamish around and I did it while living in a ghost town! Jeffrey City, Wy to be exact. I probably will drop a post about that at some point but I'll move on for the sake of time.

I met a guy!!!! And even better- we got married!!! <3 More truthfully,  we chatted online, met in person, moved in together, got handfasted, and then made it legal. But I now have a person who is just as quirky as me who loves me and thinks I'm the best. :D my grin can't get any bigger.

Following a terrible winter- Wyoming 2016 to 2017 was BRUTAL, we moved. That was interesting trying to get a job interview when my cellphone wouldn't work at work but there was no internet to be had in the ghosttown. We have now moved to Twin Falls, ID, we are both employed, and we bought a house!!! Totally something which wasn't that feasible back in Wyoming however much we both really wanted it.

I'm now in a physical/mental space to blog again, only this time it's gonna be about anything and everything. I'm totally upcycling this blog to make it more....everything. I'm still heathen, I now work as a chemist, I'm uber craftsy,  pragmatical as hell, and fully prepared to drop all the girly stuff cuz let's face it- i haven't used the make-up in years. ;) Now onto to the great posts!

Small Town USA, Oh the Fourth!

So I get asked quite often why I stay in such a small town in the middle of Wyoming when I could easily get a job more in tune with my knowledge base and degrees....anywhere else. Today was one of those reasons I stay. I love living in small towns because there's still a sense of community and general amiability amongst the citizenry. Laramie is quite renowned around these parts for its Freedom Has A Birthday event thrown annually in Washington Park. Literally half the town's population shows up to participate and have fun. There's free watermelon and icecream cones and someone's always grilling hamburgers and hotdogs and of course bratwurst sausages. Yumm! I ended up buying both a burger and a brat and demanded the brat come with sauerkraut and the burger come with everything because otherwise what's the point right? I met up with some friends and ambled about the park looking at all the booths and sampling free stuff as I went. You know that scene in Pollyanna where she goes to the fair, yeah it's kinda like that. And if you don't know the scene-how on earth are you getting all my references. Seriously, I drop movie references like big ol' raindrops in a thunderstorm. Tsk, reading my blog without getting all the weird similes would be like watching Robin Hood: Men in Tights without watching Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves and the original Robin Hood with Errol Flynn...it'd make sense and be great but not nearly as funny!
Okay, so the wardrobe department. My mother will be proud to know I wore an outfit she put together when I was back in Missouri visiting her. A deep blue stretchy tank top with a white holey shirt over it rocked a modern 80's look while the blue and white slashed skirt made me feel like I should be yachting or something. So I wore a red scarf of my grandmother's around my neck to be more patriotic and I paired the ensemble with a pair of shoes my mom gave me years ago. Original 70s Dr. Scholl's sandals with the wooden soles and tan leather straps. Oh yeah, I was awesome! Regrettably I failed to put on makeup or do much with my hair so I opted for a ponytail and baseball cap. And don't tell my mother I forgot the matching earrings, necklace, bracelet and hair doodad...I think it'd break her heart.
Now I am proud enough of my heritage to admit I am an utterly white girl, but that truth in turns makes me accept that my skin views sunlight as a plague and excessive sun exposure generally leads to hangover like symptoms. I normally am a very cheery person,  but if I get hot, sweaty, hungry and/or tired you'd be surprised how quickly I transform into a bear and practically snarl at people. With that in mind, I dug out my trusty RadioFlyer wagon (that's right, straight out of my childhood with Snoopy stickers and dings all up and down it) and proceeded to load it with my nearly indestructible bag of questionable fashion sense, my black steampunk designed parasol, my well used camp chair and an old cooler for bottles of water. Oh yeah, hopping out of my truck and walking to the park I looked like a sophisticated adult but my shadow dragging the slightly rusted wagon reminded me of my inner 5yr old!
And I am happy to admit, I was able to keep my complexion pale (no pinks or burning sensations!) and my disposition remained very cheery all day. Well, until the vast amounts of inhaled fresh air caught up to me and I passed out into a nap around 5pm and didn't wake up til 8pm when it was time for my Saferide dispatch shift. That's right people, tonight I'll be able to listen to the boom of fireworks late, late into the night and I will be able to know exactly where all the great parties had been, as I arrange for deliriously happy folk to get home. Yep, I'm such a party animal. Happy Fourth everyone! Whoo!

Pride 2014

Last night I went on an adventure with a friend from my bookclub named "K". She is a major dancing addict and loves going to clubs, and as I've been wanting to go dancing for a while I agreed to accompany her down to Denver last night. We hit up Tracks which is a dance club specifically for the LGBT group. I have to admit everytime I say that and see it in print the letters rearrange themselves into the acronym "BLT" and then I get hungry and can only think of how tasty a sandwich would be. (SIGH) Does anyone else suffer from this food addict form of dyslexia? Maybe it's just me.

Well, K identifies herself as a bisexual and feels most comfortable dancing at such an establishment. I just like dancing and as long as its not just me out on the floor I don't really care who's with me. So I happily went along. This may shock some of the gentle readers out there but I think I have a very logical viewpoint of the world: here it is in a nutshell before I continue with the tale. I am a heterosexual and thus attracted to men. Very Much! (Sigh, Hugh Jackman!) Ahem... But I know that isn't the case for everyone else. I believe there are really only three types of people and it doesn't matter if you're gay, lesbian, trans, hetero, ...whatever. You are either Type A) Masculine/Dominant/Aggressive/Assertive  B)Feminine/Submissive/Passive or C)Neutral/Equalizing. And here's the math: A and B types are only ever content with each other. And C types are never satisfied with A or B only another C. That's it. It works for any type of relation I've ever heard of from any of my friends or any books I've ever read. If you are a pursuer, you chase a prey. If you are okay doing either task, you are happiest with someone who can switch the tables on you whenever. I figure if three tenses can sum up most terms in languages-then the wording for how to address people is already inherent. Except that English has no singular neuter term for a person, and I refuse to subject people to He/She/It. I'd rather do He/She/Un.

The reason for my diatribe is that K took me to a Pride Celebration. For those not in the know it's THE EVENT of the year for LBGT people to get together and show pride in themselves. I happily support people's right to be themselves, and I'll be honest I wanted to go for many reasons. I wanted to dance, see hot (although most likely gay) men, and the inner drama queen wanted to wear makeup and outrageous clothes like the 80s child I am and blend right in. I also wanted to test a theory. I have been told several times by idiotic men that they thought I was a lesbian or married the first time they met me, so I figured if I showed up and a lot of girls hit on me-it'd prove them right. Well, not to spoil the ending but I did get asked to dance but I'm believing it's more a testament to my feminine charms rather than my hidden (and very unreal) lesbian vibes.

So I got off work and donned my outfit. I wore this cute black tunic top with curvy pockets that made my waist look slimmer and gray leggings. And then I rocked my combat boots laced up to just under my knee. Well, they're not really combat boots. I got them at Hot Topic and they have hearts on the soles of the feet. Hearts! AND my cat Nova chewed one of the laces, the wretch! So I had to play a bit with the lacing to make it look okay 'cuz I have no idea where I'm gonna find a replacement anytime soon. But I felt more like a sexy punk rocker once my outfit was complete. Then I went over to K's house.

K had bought some hair chalk at Walmart. And we proceeded to chalk our hair. Bisexuals have an identifying flag with blue, purple and red stripes so I helped to stripe her really long hair down the middle kind of Pepe Le Pieu style but much more stylishly. In the end her wavy curly hair with the stripes reminded me of the My Little Ponies I used to play with as a kid. She totally rocked it. I decided to be daring and did one red streak over my right temple and a blue streak just over the left part of my forehead. I swooped some hair up and secured it with a clasp and feathers hanging off it. Hair and outfit cinched I felt like Joan Jett channeling Bonnie Raitt. Rock on! *Word to the wise, the chalk goes EVERYWHERE! We got it on our necks and K's shoulder got covered by the end of the night looking like she was covered in wode like some old school Pict. I succeeded in getting some across my forehead like Braveheart but I managed to wash it off before we left Laramie. It was awesome but the bathroom looked like we'd bricked a smurf to death and left his glittery ashes on the floor. Between the color and hairspray our hair looked awesome but totally untouchable. Yuck, what a texture!

We were on the road by 7ish and while K drove I proceeded to put on makeup. It says something about my talent (or lack as of yet) that we were in Loveland, CO...2 hours later before I was done with the makeup. Hwy 287 is not made for eyeliner and mascara! I did the blue eyed look with tons of eyeliner and while my eyes kind of disappeared behind the colors, I wore my artwork with pride. K said I looked hot so I'll admit to a bit of strutting on the short walk to the club. I was so excited!
Tracks is in Denver, but not quite downtown near all the skyscrapers which I have to admit made me a bit relieved. Nothing makes me highly nervous and slightly skittish than that much concrete and numerous floors of people all around me. Yeesh. At first I was struck by all the incredibly beautiful women...who turned out to be quite a lot of men dressed in drag. Which was a little inwardly confusing so I focused instead on the outfits. After a while the costumer in me was puzzled as to how some of the outfits were put on, stayed together or outright defied gravity. So I ended up focusing on shoes. And everyone's shoes were AMAZING!!!! No Exceptions. I'm not a shoe person, but I was intensely envious of all the beautiful footwear I saw. And astounded at how relaxed many people were at walking and dancing around in 6in heels! It was incredible! One side of the club had a Drag Show while the other had a "Women's Party" primarily for lesbians and bisexuals although there were many straight couples who came mainly because it was a great dance club. Regardless of your leanings.
We each paid our $10 entry fee and were marked with a glow in the dark star which smeared a bit looking like a shooting star. Walking onto the floor I was struck by the sight of a sea of women but with the aura of mixed hormones, not many of them were giving off the vibe of estrogen. But what energy was there was vibrant and positively electrifying. I felt pretty clever that I had managed to wedge my phone through the laces of my left boot while the right one held my ID and a small tin of mints. I didn't even need a purse!
K and I had a great time dancing. I had a White Russian from the bar but unfortunately they put way too much Kahlua in it....so it was kind of a Tanned White Russian. I've had better. But the jams were pretty good. The DJ didn't mix it too well. The segues between tunes were a bit jarring and the whole crowd would seem to pause and go to a static bounce in time to the bass until the melody revealed which one of the Top 40 hits was going to play next. The place was lit up with a Roman theme and there were even Go Go dancers. One girl was gyrating with platform stiletto boots which was just astonishing. I kept looking at her transfixed by her great dance moves. I tried to mimic them to a much smaller success but it somewhat worked and I had fun. I ended up giving my glasses to K to put in her purse because they kept sliding down my nose. I found it actually enhanced the experience. All the world boiled down to whether those around me had rhythm or not. It was that simple. With my eyesight everyone degenerated into short or long hair in various heights around my level, and I just danced and smiled. At everyone, because I was having such a great time. I really wished I had my glasses when Cleopatra showed up. I never caught her name but K said she shows up quite a lot. Apparently she's a transgender and K was too polite to inquire about the "severity" of the change. But I can tell you this: she had amazing cheekbones, sweet kind eyes (I'd glimpsed her earlier) and the most stellar pair of shoes in the whole place. They were gold and sparkled! She was dressed in an entire outfit of shimmery goldishness and I'll admit that if K had managed to catch her eye and get her to dance with us I totally would have tried to feel the fabric in the cape because it was awesome and I couldn't figure out what it was made out of. But I guess even in the LGBT community there are minorities and she quickly did a circuit and disappeared. It was the only sad moment. I had been gazing with an unfocused stare (I can't decipher much) and gradually I became aware of a persona in my field of vision and I was drawn to the shinyness. She truly stood out and just as I looked, realized she was what I was looking at, I smiled and tried to get K's attention. When I looked back up, she was gone. It is truly disappointing that heterosexual couples would be so welcome but transgenders would be somewhat ignored in such a place. It doesn't seem right. So Cleopatra, should I end up going with K again to the dance club, feel free to come dance with us you'll be very welcome.

I should mention I was formally asked to dance. It was very sweet. A girl in a dress with long hair came over and asked if she could dance with me. I've danced the guy or girl part in Ballroom classes, and I've danced countless times in a girl's dance circle with all the girls facing in and excluding all others. But strangely the girl did neither and it was slightly odd. We didn't dance as a couple and she didn't stay the foot away denoting the personal space of singles dancing. So we ended up doing the 70's dance called "The Bump" to modern hip hop songs. It kind of cracks me up thinking about it. Eventually my personal space became a little invaded and I looked to K. The girl saw me looking and asked if we were together. Grasping at straws in the face of a minor claustrophobic attack I replied "kinda" and then she excused herself saying she didn't realize I was taken and was soon gone into the darkened crowd. I was a little confused but a little relieved to have some space back to breathe.
At another time, someone else came up to dance with us. Very mannish dance style, short hair, long T-shirt with out any discernible cleavage, in the end it was a glimpse at a feminine bone structure and very long lashes that told me the person was probably a female in nature. I guess my dance moves are alluring but I was just losing myself in the music. She was very interested in getting closer to me but between K running interference and me being more interested in the beat, she soon gave up and went after someone else. Throughout the night the bass got louder and deeper and eventually it reached a point where it rattled your ribcage. Then I took a step back towards the wall and standing on the wooden floor boards I couldn't help the squeal that erupted when the bass dropped another octave and started vibrating my boots! My legs started quivering with each beat all the way up to my hips and then my ribs vibrated in harmony and I just stood there staring at the strobe lights feeling my entire body become alive to the music. I'm sure I looked like I was higher than a kite, but I didn't care it was euphoric and intoxicating.
Towards the end of the night my attention was drawn once more to a couple dancing right next to me, and then I realized there were three. One rather short woman was wedged between two very young, muscular and shirtless men. I was fascinated as guy A was obviously very gay and only interested in guy B who was probably bi and interested in both A and the lady. In the end the lady left with her friends and the two guys danced even closer. At one point guy B made eye contact with me and tried to get me over but I declined by turning my head in K's direction and not making eye contact again. The risk of dancing with them and squealing hysterically or giggling like a little girl were too high, it was better to be the prude and maintain some level of decency. They were very cute though.
On the very last song everyone in the club spontaneously started making out and only vaguely keeping with the rhythm of the melody. K and I just looked at each other and then at the sea of wriggling bodies and said almost in unison "well, this is awkward." We laughed and headed out to the car and then home.
Well, almost home. We made it to the Ihop and had to stop for pancakes. I had French toast with strawberries and bananas which were absolutely horribly drenched in sugar, whipped cream and all sorts of sweetness which was bad for my diet. But I had just danced for 4 hours and frankly I didn't care. That's why leggings have elastic! Happily on a sugar high, I proceeded to chatter K's ear off the entire trip home. We got in at dawn and I immediately got to work shampooing the chalk out of my hair and cleaning myself up. The chalk kept rubbing off and I knew if I slept like that I'd end up with a pink pillow and a blue spotted cat! The makeup was a bit more difficult but I made it and then I went to bed for some much deserved sleep. All in all it was a wonderful evening and I'm ready to go again. Maybe in a month or so, this afternoon reminded me I'm not as young as I was a decade ago. Yeesh! Til the next adventure!
By the way, I totally think I look like Anne Hathaway in these pictures.

News Update 2

General Update:
Hi everyone, thank you for continuing to check out my site. I apologize for letting you all down and making you wait for updates. I have in fact been through a lot of adventures, so many in fact that I couldn't bring myself to write about them. In Sept. I tried an AdvoCare program to lose some weight and it worked amazingly.

Right up until Oct 2013 when my dad suddenly died and threw my world into a tailspin. I am only now getting to a mostly non-emotional view of it. I still find myself remembering him and getting teary eyed, but I am able to function practically normal. I was my father's only child so I got the privilege of going through all of his things and even now I am not able to get rid of very much. Every little item, picture, writing has a memory and I can't seem to toss it. I've tossed quite a lot, but not as much as I should. The government was in a shutdown so I wasn't even sure if I'd be able to get him into the National Cemetery he wanted, so I had his remains cremated and the ceremony postponed until Memorial Day of this year. It was one of his favorite holidays.  A paragraph in a post cannot do justice to what I felt and went through that month (or months since) so I will move on to other months. To my friends, family and fans I want you to know a book is in the works chronicling my dad's life and adventurous stories and included will be snippets from my viewpoint. Someday you will know my thoughts but I cannot express it right now.

Nov. 2013 I was a mindless zombie with tears threatening a flood at any moment, but I made it through work at both jobs. I even went up to my aunt's for Thanksgiving and saw quite a few members of my family. I felt intense guilt that I made such an effort to come the year after my father's death and yet not the year before when my dad put in a special effort and wore a suit and tie to the affair. It's true that you don't know what you have 'til it's gone. And in one of the strangest trades I've ever made I gave P my dad's black 1992 Chevy Sierra pickup truck in exchange for a mobile home he was renovating. Unfortunately he had not finished renovating the house so I ended up with a home but "some assembly was required." To be fair I had acquired it planning on having it be a craft/workshop and storage unit so having it in such an unfinished state wasn't so bad at first.

By December I was ready for the year to end and put it all behind me.

Jan. 2014 I started performing venipunctures so this to my way of thinking was when I first became a phlebotomist. Seeing as how I still detest needles and the idea of putting them in people weirds me out- I'm pretty decent at hitting a vein without too many problems.

Feb. and Mar. were more of the same. I'd dispatch Sat. nights for Saferide answering calls and arranging rides for people around town. Sundays I'd work Night Owl and drive people around campus. During the week I'd perform venipunctures, process plasma and in general try to not be overwhelmed by grief. Presenting a professional appearance was a real chore for me with a torrent of emotion surging just beneath the surface.

April was an incredible turning point for me. My mother had come out in October to help me sort my dad's stuff into reasonable boxes for storage, and in return she asked me to come visit her in Missouri. So in April I went to Nixa, Missouri for a week and my mom and I indulged in girly activities. As it turns out, my mother and I get along really well now, especially since we're both making a valiant effort at it. It might have helped that I'm willing to go shopping and discuss hair and makeup now instead of running in the opposite direction, preferably towards a library or museum. We went to shows, on a cruise, drove around and I got a pretty nice makeover. I got my hair highlighted and was shocked to find out I'm a blonde. It's a dark blonde, but I'm not a natural brunette like I thought-guess more of my Norwegian roots are showing! I bought makeup and a gal at the Origins store gave me a facial and showed me how to put some of the makeup on. And we hit quite a few stores and bought all sorts of really amazing outfits that make me feel stylish and womanly. I really appreciated my mom helping me out like that, it was definitely a pick me up.
 May 2014 I spent any moment not at work planning the inurnment ceremony for my dad. I finished designs for his urn and found poems of his to use for the ceremony. My aunt put together the reception area and I got the rest. Memorial Day was a beautifully sunny day and the Sturgis Honor Guard did an amazing job paying tribute to the remains of my father. It's a stunning place full of a quiet reserved peace. And if anyone wants to stop and visit him-Dale G. Amunson is now residing in the Black Hills National Cemetery and he has some great neighbors all of whom would love some company.
As for home improvements, I've torn out cupboards, painted walls, constructed shelves, and in general slowly turned my renovation project from hell into a decent home. Nova loves it but then again there's a lot of catnip all over and a nice long hallway to run down, so it's perfect for him. Little does he know I plan on making my beautiful cat some sun perches for as many windows as I can-I'm sure he'll love it even more after that. As for me, I have a bed, a pseudo closet, a mostly functional kitchen (I have still not turned the stove on) and a bathroom which is not frightening. I swear, my mom saw it and there were no sighs or screeches at all. 'Course she did initiate a 12 hr cleaning session upon coming into my house but I blame the never ending boxes all over the place. And I have a saw, a drill, a hammer and a lot of ideas- it's all starting to come together. I'll update more later. :)

Read more (77 lines

Mad Hatter Tea Party

Today I celebrated my 3rd Annual 29th birthday! Yay! I hadn't planned on doing anything that elaborate but P said for my birthday he'd bake me a cake. Any cake I would like to try. So I chose one of my more weird combinations. We ended up with a double layer cake (bottom layer being spice cake with chocolate chips while the top layer was a carrot cake) sandwiching butter pecan icecream, and overtop all of this sugary moundedness was a heap of homemade german chocolate frosting (coconut pecan) embellished with red icing flowers and the words "Very Merry Unbirthday!" It was awesome! Sadly, I was so dazzled by my beautiful cake-I forgot to get a picture of it. I just dug in for a piece of delicious confectionary delight. So you'll have to imagine a soft moist cake at least 8 inches high smelling so sweet wasps flew around it in a tizzy, and when it was cut it started falling over like a blossoming flower. Strangely enough, everyone ended up eating their slices from the bottom layer up but I figure that's all par for the course at a Mad Hatter Tea Party.
The idea got started by L (sadly she was sick today and couldn't make it), who having heard about my crazy (but delicious sounding) cake being baked by the ever surprising P-who also owns a legitimate top hat stated I just needed to throw a tea party. A Mad Hatter Tea Party. A sort of sideways Alice-In-Wonderland party. It was such a great idea I had to go with it. I contacted P and got to work planning. The invitations were on gothic Hello Kitty stationary. (Thanks S from grad school! I finally found the perfect use for them!!!!) I rummaged around and corralled all my lovely teacups, and corelle cups, and bought styrofoam cups (with polkadots-what else?) for the tea. And I planned the tea sandwiches. There were the "cucumber sandwiches" which I felt should be made with tuna salad wedged between slices of cucumber, regardless of how the British make it. "Spot the Monster" involved slices of tomatoes with Muenster cheese [I misheard this name the first time and swore it was called Monster-hence the name]. "Peaches and Bears"- a slice of french bread with Camembert cheese [am I the only one who thinks people are calling it "Coming Bear"?] and a thin slice of a nectarine. And last but not least "Mini Melts": slices of sourdough bread, tuna salad and strips of leftover Muenster cheese. I invited around 20 people and fully expected half to 2/3 to show. I was not disappointed. I chose such a relatively small number because I still panic in large crowds of people who know me-regardless of how much I may like to talk to them; I just get overwhelmed. So through lots of deliberation I narrowed my list of contacts down to those people who when encountered in work or public I would frequently engage in conversation lasting 30 min or so until someone yelled at us to move or go work. I felt if I talked to them about nerd-like subjects and we were both fascinated by the other's words, that person would be great company at a party I had not a clue as to what I had planned!
So the day arrived (today in fact). I went as the Queen of Hearts (the kind version if such exists). I donned my fuschia dress with white flowers and imagined it was red with white hearts. I dug out my pretty pink polka-dotted parasol (hah! tongue twister!!!!) and brought it as my "flamingo", you know, in case of a spontaneous bout of croquet. Strangely I kept referring to it as my penguin. Hmmm. And then I drove to the park. And circled the park stalking it for an empty and easy to spot table suitable for a party, on a Sunday, Labor Day Sunday. I found one. It wasn't until I pulled back around, parked and got out of my car that I realized that two sets of guests had followed me around the whole park in my quest for the perfect table! M from the library (eeeee! I feel like James Bond: I have a contact named "M"!) ahem, and Q&C (the couple not the survey) came out of the proverbial bushes as I got out of my car and assisted in moving supplies. M was dressed as an amazingly modern Alice in Wonderland, she had recently gotten her hair cut so it looked perfect! Q has a tattoo stating "Follow the White Rabbit" and came dressed in a dapper blazer with slacks so we deemed her "The white hare" while C wore a summery dress with her long curly hair unbound down her back so we stated she could be the "2nd Alice." Hey, it was my party-I can have 2 Alices if I want to! And then it happened! I went to my trunk to retrieve my black boots (don't ask why my shoes were in my trunk) and one was missing!!!! By this point P had arrived triumphantly with all the vittles and cake-his outfit needs no description as it is posted at the bottom, just know it was stupendous. And as I looked askance at my white sneaker and my one perfect black boot, I was persuaded by Alice 1 and the Mad Hatter to wear them as is. So I did, I wore one sneaker and one boot which kept getting stuck in the moist ground wherever I walked. I blamed the March Hare (not to be confused with the white one) and whilst shaking my parasol/flamingo/penguin uttered "off with his head!"
I had brewed as much hot water as my rather large tea kettle could hold but on the safe side I had P&A (another couple, as I learned later but did not know at time of inviting) bring some iced tea in case we ran out. I mean, I'd already lost a shoe to this party, I was not going to be embarrassed by something as ghastly as running out of tea! Should be noted P (of P&A) dressed quite nicely and A looked simply adorable (but in an adultlike way) with her flowery top and cute shorts. *P&A and Q&C left early to go for a hike so they weren't able to be photographed. Another charming couple R&B came to hang out with me and they are in the picture below, absolutely loved B's (of R&B) tights. And K from book club came looking very cool and chic! And last but not least, my roommates A&B came festively arrayed in their derby hats. I was overjoyed at the enthusiasm everyone had put in for my party. (sigh) It really warmed my heart that I have such friends willing to be silly and fun with me!
As for conversation, imagine the best nerd-like talks you've ever had; filled with book blurbs, movie mentions, bollywood reenactments, plans for future events, comedic stories, science classes gone awry-and my party's chats were even better! LOVED EVERY BIT OF IT! I know, I know you're jealous. But I know I've gotten into many of these chats with most of you, my charmed readers; so don't be too envious, just graciously allow new memberships into the zany Krista and her crazy talks club. Except for you J (formerly known as Varilek) you're still tops of the zany Krista club, I still haven't forgotten the 3am chat where we theorized curing cancer through tomatoe enzymes. Or you B with hypothesizing what goes on at the core of a star as related to the theory of a maximum quantum temperature. It should be noted I'm working on being okay with larger and larger groups so maybe someday all of you can get together and have a grand tea party with me and we can all share in such an inspiring event.

As for the rest of the party, it pretty much wound down as party members gradually left. I took my shoes off halfway through and ran around barefoot for most of it. By three everyone was ready for home and we started cleaning up. P wisely took charge of the cake and asked me what I wanted to do with it. I longingly looked at it and its sugary goodness, and P seeing the gleam in my eyes started backing away. To every excuse I gave, he denied validity. To every "but, but, what about.." he looked at me and asked "really?" Until finally, in defeat, I agreed with him: the awesome cake had did its time. It had lived, was loved, and now needed to retire. The icecream had turned the moist cake into a soggy mud consistency and if I brought it home I would be the only one eating it. And I would. All of it, because it was AMAZING! Which would not be doing my new health plan any help. (SIGH) So, I bid my cake adieu, turned away and told P to take the cake somewhere it would never be seen again. And P (used to my melodramatics) dutifully went and dumped the delapidated remains of my beautiful cake into a nearby trashcan; and then came jaunting back to assist in moving the rest of the tea party equipment. All in all, it went well. Everyone had a good time, ate good food, and I got to enjoy the company of several friends at the same time. Parties are a great idea! So to everyone reading this: "A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU! TO ME? TO YOU! A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!!

*Feel free to have your own Mad Hatter Tea Party, you can even use my crazy tea sandwich ideas.*




Cool R&B; Alice (M); The Mad Hatter (P); The Queen of Hearts (me!); and chic K

Look, it's the Mad Hatter!

The Wolverine

Yeah that's right! Capital T, capital W. Because there is only one and he is the best at what he does! Whoo! I was so excited about this movie!!! The first X-men movie came out when I was still in high school and it simultaneously set off two crushes: one of Hugh Jackman and the other of Logan aka Wolverine. Sigh. Ahem, moving along. I have tried to see every Marvel movie that comes out in theaters because I believe they truly need to be supported. Everyone needs a hero to live up to, and while Wolverine is brutally testosterone-laden, and morally questionable at times-deep down he has a heart of gold. I am proud to say, I got to see this latest installment on opening weekend and I loved it. Was it as good as the first, no. Was it true to traditional comic arcs? Definitely not. Was it worth seeing on the big screen? ABSOLUTELY!!!!
Okay, so before going to see the amazing movie, I had to get dolled up. Why? Duh, because I was going to see my most favorite actor in the world play my favorite hero-and I figured I might be able to scout out some cute fellow Marvelites amongst the crowd. I planned accordingly. I wore my good pair of jeans paired with my Marvel Wolverine T-shirt. Then I proceeded to put on my war paint, er, make-up. Although it was a bit of a war putting it on: there was blood as I opened the packages, collateral damage as the foundation powder "poofted" all over my bedroom, and I did feel like I had been gassed as I inhaled tiny particles of chemical substance which might or might not have blended in with my lungs. It all culminated in putting on the eye primer. What is eye primer, you may ask? I don't have the foggiest! I surmise it is a base layer meant to coat the eye lid so any eye shadow placed atop it will not bunch and cause gathering points of extra color. [The directions are a bit sketchy so I'm a little unsure.] I dutifully layered it on my eyelid and was brought up short by the stark light blueness of it pasted right under my eyebrows. Hello '80's! It's okay, I told myself. It's alright, (breath of calming) just, just, whoo, just channel your inner Cyndi Lauper. [For those of you young enough not to know her, shame on you! Go YouTube her "Girls just wanna have fun" or "True Colors" right now! I'll wait] So deciding to go with the 80's look, I made the eyelids even brighter with some dark blue and glitter shadow, added some blush and red lipstick (to camoflauge the eyeshadow). And then I put big hoops in my ears to detract from the make-up in general. Paired with a set of white sneakers and a high ponytail [I wasn't brave enough to go for the side look] I resembled a teen bebopper left over from the late 80's/early 90's, and I rocked it!
As far as meeting fellow cute Marvelites, I didn't. I did manage to sit behind two guys (woefully not cute, and probably married) who debated the merits of ComicCon throughout two of the movie previews, and I couldn't help but snort and laugh "what nerds!" Everyone knows you chatter about that stuff AFTER the movie. Pfft. Dweebs.
SPOILER ALERT: Okay, so first I'll highlight some of the memorable parts of the movie, and then I'll rip it apart for plot holes differing from the original story arcs. First, it has Wu from the TNT show Witchblade! And he was awesome! For those poor uneducated souls who have not seen the amazing seasons of the defunct show based off a Dark Horse comic-the actor in question plays the archer who was a childhood friend to Logan's leading lady Mariko. And his action scenes were everything you hoped to see in Witchblade but didn't-cuz he had died and was a ghost. Surprisingly he hasn't seemed to age in the past 10 years, hmm. And there were a lot of fight scenes. Like 60% of the whole movie was running, and chasing, and leaping and cool but somewhat redundant jumps from parkour training, and hand to hand combat. Logan was primarily showing off his fighting skills, which was pretty accurate for the comics. Not a ton of plot, mainly "so in walks Logan, and -fight scene- go!" There was this weird scene involving a bear, which leads you to wonder, were they trying to show Logan identifying more with the bear or showing how out of touch he was with humanity? I'm not sure, but it was a bit uncomfortable watching the scene. There was a train fight scene straight off of a Transporter film except it appeared at times like grown adults playing flapjack or leap frog. It wasn't so much scary and death-defying as it was humorous and you just kept waiting for a mom to pop up and say "kids! stop playing train on that trampoline and come in for dinner!" And there was this viper woman with amazing blonde hair who wore dresses and pantsuits I haven't seen since the old 70's movies. Or the time Elizabeth Hurley wore the dress made out of safety pins. I mean, the viper girl wore an outfit made of green ribbons! And poor Logan got dragged into a Japanese bath and given a haircut and afterwards he looked like a freshly-scrubbed Wolverine-with cowlicks! Towards the end of the movie there was an epilogue that functioned as an X-Men teaser. And I am saddened to say I failed to have my Stan Lee moment. :( Every time you see Stan Lee in his minute of fame per Marvel movie, you should throw your arms in the air and yell "Go Stan Lee!" And I didn't see him nor did I yell. (I failed you Stan Lee!!!!) But I did clap when his name was credited toward the end so I feel I should get some credit.

And now for the plot holes. First Mariko AND Yukio in the same timeline?!!! Are you people nuts! You can't do that! Wolverine falls for Mariko, then he goes off and falls for Yukio and THEN he falls for Jean. Not Jean, then Mariko while Yukio watches like an awkward school girl with a crush. Ugh, it was beyond awkward. And they totally missed a beautiful opportunity. There's this scene where Mariko is judging Logan's appearance and he just stands there and looks vaguely insulted. The directors could have taken a scene from Braveheart [the one where Mel Gibson responds in both Latin and French after being practically dismissed as little more than a dirty peasant] and had the "barbarian" chatter back at them in japanese. I mean, Logan KNOWS JAPANESE!!! C'mon people you could have made Logan so much more interesting and snarky. But no, you had to keep him as a grunt who goes around getting mad and punching things. He's a thinking being too! Whoo, okay calming down and moving on. There were way more plot twists they added in or just plain fabricated and I could write a whole synopsis on it, but the truth is-it's a good movie for those who don't know Logan's history. For getting people to come in and want to watch this, they did a valiant effort. They had to cut up part of the accepted story lines to make it work- but come on..how many times have they rewritten Logan's history by saying "he lost his memory/he got his memory back/and then someone came from an alternate universe and rewrote time"? Countless times my friends so we the educated masses can't complain too much. Just view it as another version of Logan's stories- there are quite a few now.
Bottom line: plot line-decent. Acting-good. Martial arts/combat scenes-Definitely imaginative and done on a comic book level. And the real reasons I went to see it: The claws [both metal and non!] and the abs ['cuz let's face it, Hugh Jackman looks amazing and his hard work should be appreciated!]-TOTALLY WORTH EVERY PENNY!!!!!! I hope you get a chance to see it. Just remember Stan's the man and should be hailed as the god he is/should be!
Below is a pic taken by P afterwards when he and I were debating the Marvel merits of the movie, much to the amusement of his dad who was privy to the conversation. Note the blue eyeshadow, red lips, large hoops, and the AWESOME shirt! (sniff) Just sayin'-mighty cool chick rocking the early 90's vibe here.