Okay, so before going to see the amazing movie, I had to get dolled up. Why? Duh, because I was going to see my most favorite actor in the world play my favorite hero-and I figured I might be able to scout out some cute fellow Marvelites amongst the crowd. I planned accordingly. I wore my good pair of jeans paired with my Marvel Wolverine T-shirt. Then I proceeded to put on my war paint, er, make-up. Although it was a bit of a war putting it on: there was blood as I opened the packages, collateral damage as the foundation powder "poofted" all over my bedroom, and I did feel like I had been gassed as I inhaled tiny particles of chemical substance which might or might not have blended in with my lungs. It all culminated in putting on the eye primer. What is eye primer, you may ask? I don't have the foggiest! I surmise it is a base layer meant to coat the eye lid so any eye shadow placed atop it will not bunch and cause gathering points of extra color. [The directions are a bit sketchy so I'm a little unsure.] I dutifully layered it on my eyelid and was brought up short by the stark light blueness of it pasted right under my eyebrows. Hello '80's! It's okay, I told myself. It's alright, (breath of calming) just, just, whoo, just channel your inner Cyndi Lauper. [For those of you young enough not to know her, shame on you! Go YouTube her "Girls just wanna have fun" or "True Colors" right now! I'll wait] So deciding to go with the 80's look, I made the eyelids even brighter with some dark blue and glitter shadow, added some blush and red lipstick (to camoflauge the eyeshadow). And then I put big hoops in my ears to detract from the make-up in general. Paired with a set of white sneakers and a high ponytail [I wasn't brave enough to go for the side look] I resembled a teen bebopper left over from the late 80's/early 90's, and I rocked it!
As far as meeting fellow cute Marvelites, I didn't. I did manage to sit behind two guys (woefully not cute, and probably married) who debated the merits of ComicCon throughout two of the movie previews, and I couldn't help but snort and laugh "what nerds!" Everyone knows you chatter about that stuff AFTER the movie. Pfft. Dweebs.
SPOILER ALERT: Okay, so first I'll highlight some of the memorable parts of the movie, and then I'll rip it apart for plot holes differing from the original story arcs. First, it has Wu from the TNT show Witchblade! And he was awesome! For those poor uneducated souls who have not seen the amazing seasons of the defunct show based off a Dark Horse comic-the actor in question plays the archer who was a childhood friend to Logan's leading lady Mariko. And his action scenes were everything you hoped to see in Witchblade but didn't-cuz he had died and was a ghost. Surprisingly he hasn't seemed to age in the past 10 years, hmm. And there were a lot of fight scenes. Like 60% of the whole movie was running, and chasing, and leaping and cool but somewhat redundant jumps from parkour training, and hand to hand combat. Logan was primarily showing off his fighting skills, which was pretty accurate for the comics. Not a ton of plot, mainly "so in walks Logan, and -fight scene- go!" There was this weird scene involving a bear, which leads you to wonder, were they trying to show Logan identifying more with the bear or showing how out of touch he was with humanity? I'm not sure, but it was a bit uncomfortable watching the scene. There was a train fight scene straight off of a Transporter film except it appeared at times like grown adults playing flapjack or leap frog. It wasn't so much scary and death-defying as it was humorous and you just kept waiting for a mom to pop up and say "kids! stop playing train on that trampoline and come in for dinner!" And there was this viper woman with amazing blonde hair who wore dresses and pantsuits I haven't seen since the old 70's movies. Or the time Elizabeth Hurley wore the dress made out of safety pins. I mean, the viper girl wore an outfit made of green ribbons! And poor Logan got dragged into a Japanese bath and given a haircut and afterwards he looked like a freshly-scrubbed Wolverine-with cowlicks! Towards the end of the movie there was an epilogue that functioned as an X-Men teaser. And I am saddened to say I failed to have my Stan Lee moment. :( Every time you see Stan Lee in his minute of fame per Marvel movie, you should throw your arms in the air and yell "Go Stan Lee!" And I didn't see him nor did I yell. (I failed you Stan Lee!!!!) But I did clap when his name was credited toward the end so I feel I should get some credit.
And now for the plot holes. First Mariko AND Yukio in the same timeline?!!! Are you people nuts! You can't do that! Wolverine falls for Mariko, then he goes off and falls for Yukio and THEN he falls for Jean. Not Jean, then Mariko while Yukio watches like an awkward school girl with a crush. Ugh, it was beyond awkward. And they totally missed a beautiful opportunity. There's this scene where Mariko is judging Logan's appearance and he just stands there and looks vaguely insulted. The directors could have taken a scene from Braveheart [the one where Mel Gibson responds in both Latin and French after being practically dismissed as little more than a dirty peasant] and had the "barbarian" chatter back at them in japanese. I mean, Logan KNOWS JAPANESE!!! C'mon people you could have made Logan so much more interesting and snarky. But no, you had to keep him as a grunt who goes around getting mad and punching things. He's a thinking being too! Whoo, okay calming down and moving on. There were way more plot twists they added in or just plain fabricated and I could write a whole synopsis on it, but the truth is-it's a good movie for those who don't know Logan's history. For getting people to come in and want to watch this, they did a valiant effort. They had to cut up part of the accepted story lines to make it work- but come on..how many times have they rewritten Logan's history by saying "he lost his memory/he got his memory back/and then someone came from an alternate universe and rewrote time"? Countless times my friends so we the educated masses can't complain too much. Just view it as another version of Logan's stories- there are quite a few now.
Bottom line: plot line-decent. Acting-good. Martial arts/combat scenes-Definitely imaginative and done on a comic book level. And the real reasons I went to see it: The claws [both metal and non!] and the abs ['cuz let's face it, Hugh Jackman looks amazing and his hard work should be appreciated!]-TOTALLY WORTH EVERY PENNY!!!!!! I hope you get a chance to see it. Just remember Stan's the man and should be hailed as the god he is/should be!
Below is a pic taken by P afterwards when he and I were debating the Marvel merits of the movie, much to the amusement of his dad who was privy to the conversation. Note the blue eyeshadow, red lips, large hoops, and the AWESOME shirt! (sniff) Just sayin'-mighty cool chick rocking the early 90's vibe here.
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